friends

I hope the day will be a lighter highway
For friends are found on every road
Can you ever think of any better way
For the lost and weary travelers to go

Making friends for the world to see
Let the people know you got what you need
With a friend at hand you will see the light
If your friends are there then everything's all right

It seems to me a crime that we should age
These fragile times should never slip us by
A time you never can or shall erase
As friends together watch their childhood fly

(Music by Elton John
Lyrics by Bernie Taupin
From the soundtrack Friends)

Laura

I talked with my best friend, Laura, today on the phone. It was the first time we have spoken in two years, and I was afraid our friendship was waning. But as friendships go, we picked right up where we left off two years ago, and our friendship is intact. I indeed feel "everything's all right."

Okay, so how can you NOT talk to your best friend in two years? How can you remain best friends when you have not talked in two years??? Well, all I know is I don't think either of us has had much free time on our hands. And shit happens. And before you know it, shit has taken over your life. I honestly have not had (made) time for friends in the past couple of years. And it sounded very much as though she hadn't either. But I'm vowing to renew our friendship. Because, remember? My word for the year is smile:)

Tomorrow I will post something I wrote about Laura several years ago. I have to dig it up... until then... go hug a friend!

(Photo: Friends Terri, Kathy, Laura, Lynn - bestest buds since childhood)

tossing and turning...

After having a vanilla latte at 10:00 last night, unable to sleep, my thoughts got caught up on my many imperfections and I was especially drawn to the fact that I have never mastered anything in my life. I have gone down a lot of streets, both career-wise, and hobby-wise, trying this and trying that, but never stuck with any one thing long enough to declare myself a "master" of anything. On the other hand, the few things I have stuck with - marriage, parenting, friendships - I haven't truly mastered. I do believe that as a wife, a parent, a friend, I will always be learning and adapting in these ever-changing life relationships, and will never feel as though I have completely conquered them, nor do I want to. So, I suppose that is the way it is with anything, be it a job, a craft, or a relationship.

It's like this: On day one of my marriage I didn't know much about what it meant to be a wife. I had some ideas, of course, but looking back on it, you could say the ideas weren't exactly on target - actually, they were way off target. Way, way. And after getting over the disappointment of not being treated to a candlelight dinner every night and learning that yes, sex can become a chore, I had to learn how to wife. And I didn't, after 10 or 15 years into my marriage, decide I had mastered the wife thing and declare myself an expert wife. No, I am constantly learning and relearning how to be a wife. And I will continue this until the day I die. So it is with a job/craft - you don't learn it, become good at it, then sit back and declare yourself a master. You continue to learn and become adept; it is a process; it is continuous and infinite. Which leads me to the conclusion that to master anything, you must continue it your entire life. If that is the case, I will never master a career, will probably never master a hobby; but when I die I will have mastered wiving, parenting, and friendship - the only things that are important anyway.

So I can stop judging myself so harshly about starting things and never "finishing". Because, I do finish. I just think that it doesn't appear so to others. The key is that I do something (job, hobby) long enough to learn all I want to learn about it. Then I go on to the next thing that intriques me. My philosophy is "life's too short", and I don't want to die never having tried the things I want to try. So, ultimately, my concerns all lead back to relationships - not jobs, not crafts - but concern over "what others think". And I really should not care what others think. No, I'll just stay true to myself, thank you.